THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
:: Soccer Field Parenting ::
I played a lot of chess when I was a kid, and I
learned that to win I had to pay attention to all
the pieces on the board -- to keep the *big picture*
At school I noticed that when the other kids played
soccer, they focused only on the ball and mindlessly
*chased* it around the field. But my chess-trained
mind resisted the temptation to join the chaotic
"clump" of kids surrounding the ball. I paid
attention to the whole field and positioned myself
such that I could easily score goals when someone
kicked the ball out of the clump.
In parenting, children's *behavior* is like the
soccer ball, and the majority of parents are like
that clump of kids chasing the ball -- focusing too
much on behavior and missing the bigger picture.
Today, if your own parenting starts to feel like
that ball-chasing chaos, deliberately shift your
perspective to a more expansive view -- the
*context* in which your child's behavior is arising.
The context includes physical, emotional, and
When you want your child's behavior to change, and
you understand *why* it's happening, you can
lovingly address your child's underlying needs and
desires, and blend them creatively with your own.
Now *that's* teamwork! :-)